The Wilderness

Are you wandering around with a wilderness mentality like I recently was? Thinking that you are always only ever going to be a failure and that you can't trust any decisions you make? I'm here to tell you today that it's time to enter the promised land!! It's time to dump the negative thinking and behaviors that got you where you are now. How?

Stop negative thinking as soon as you realize you are doing it.
Start telling yourself the truth.
Spend time with positive people.
Don't isolate. Get out. Summer will be here... someday!
Find fun and productive things to do.
Laugh more.
Change one thing at a time. What's not working for you right now? Start with that.
Tell someone you trust that you want to change. Have them hold you accountable.
Set goals. Real goals. Goals you can reach. Then write down the steps to getting there.

Your promised land is closer than you think. Don't spend 40 years wandering in the wilderness when you could actually be thriving in paradise!!

New Year 2014

Well, it's that time of year again. Some of us come to the end of a year with happiness and others with sadness because things didn't go as planned or as hoped. Typically, I dread this time of year. Sometimes it is hard to find hope when there is evidence all around you not to have it. But I challenge you to have it anyway!

I challenge you to find a theme for 2014. What is the ONE THING that you can focus on all year that will make all the difference in where you are now and where you will be 12 months from now? Just one thing. That's it. Focus on one. We can all do that.

Each year I have been picking a word for the year to help me in this endeavor. For 2011 it was LIVE. For 2012 it was DANCE (as in, "life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain").  For 2013 it was ACCEPT (as in "In acceptance lieth peace").  I'm still working on 2014 but I think it's going to be something about letting go.

Life never turns out the way we hope or plan. It's just too messy to do so. All we can do is our very best in each and every moment that presents itself. That's it.

So find your word, your phrase, or your one thing that you can do this year to make it better than before. Go ahead. What have you got to lose? 

Post on Dear Abby

I came across this post on Dear Abby today:

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-year-old man who is serving time for robbery in West Virginia. Every day I wake up acting as if I am in control and don't have a care in the world. The truth is, I'm scared, lonely and feel totally helpless. All my life I have lived on the dark side of the street, taking for granted the values in life and the love so many people tried to give me.

Two failed marriages and several relationships with good women are over because of my determination to follow an unhealthy dream, not to mention all the friends I have lost as well.

Now as I look around me, there's no one there. No one to love and no one to love me. I never knew until now that chasing that dream would cost me everyone I ever loved.

I know I have made bad choices in life. I deserve the time for the crime I committed. But am I also sentenced to a world of loneliness? Can I ever be loved again and be happy after all the wrong I have done? Is there someone out there who would be willing to give me a chance? Is it too late to start over?

Like Martin Luther, I have a dream. I have a dream where people are not judged for the rest of their lives by the bad mistakes they have made. They get to do their time and move on. I have a dream where doors are opened and not closed to them. Where they can live where they want to, be with whomevever they want to, and get a job where they are qualified.

But our society is harsh and unforgiving. Who of us hasn't made a mistake and wish he could take it back? Who of us doesn't wish we could make amends if we've hurt someone?

We have no right to withhold life from someone who has broken the law.  People deserve second changes. And people shouldn't have to write letters like this to Dear Abby because society is so harsh. Wake up! Look in the mirror. He who is without sin can cast the first stone.

Don't Give Up

There are a lot of reasons and issues that will be tossed at us to tell us to give up. Sometimes it seems like all the signs are there. But it's when you think that there is no reason to keep trying that you must try again.

There will always be people who don't understand you, your situation, your choices, and your desires. The main thing to keep in mind is what YOU want and who YOU are! You do not need to be defined by a mistake.

Not long ago I watched "Eat Pray Love" with Julia Roberts. There is a scene where people are sitting around the dinner table sharing their "one word" that they think describes themselves. Julia Roberts says, "Writer." Her friend says, "That's what you do. It's not who you are."

Who you are is what is on the inside of you. It's your values, your personality, it's what makes you tick. Show the world how amazing you are, believe that good things  are possible, and then live your dream!

Hope

Whenever you feel like giving up because nothing is coming together, just hang on a little longer. It WILL come together if you do not give up! Have courage and patience. Keep going even if it looks useless. You WILL be victorious!

Never Give Up!!

Getting past a criminal record is hard, but not impossible. If you think it's hopeless, then it is.

Educate yourself. Network. Get written letters of recommendation. Update your LinkedIn profile, and never, ever, give up.